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entry Feb 9 2010, 11:09 AM
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Why boys need parents ;-)

entry Jul 6 2009, 08:44 PM
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables ?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable ). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil . In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

entry Jul 31 2008, 08:42 PM
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THE Nominees are…

& the winner is......

entry Jun 26 2008, 04:46 PM
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Sneak peak at Bejing Olympic Gardens - They are Awesome!

entry Apr 8 2008, 07:58 AM

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough

When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,

When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.

When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.

When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked

When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

entry Feb 2 2008, 09:47 PM
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What a Chinese Chef does in his spare time?

entry Jan 4 2008, 09:26 PM
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Pictures taken at just the right angle

entry Jul 28 2007, 06:09 PM
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Yah, Life is soooooooooooooooooooo colorful!

entry Jul 28 2007, 06:01 PM
10. Good sex keeps you healthy. It is the best exercise in the world. Saving you money on medical cost and gym fees.

9. Good sex keeps you from spending money as easily. You want to keep your clothes off. Face it, it is much harder to spend money naked than fully clothed.

8. Good sex makes you want to spend TIME, not money on the one that you want.

7. Good sex makes you crave your partner and not starbucks. You will save a fortune on not splurging on little things that make you happy for a brief moment. The knowledge that your cravings will be filled for hours at home will stop you from spending on little expenses through out the day.

6. Good sex makes you eat less. You will save thousands a year on lower food comsumption bills.

5. Good sex makes you want to plan for your future. It is so much easier to plan for a great future when you know what one aspect of your life will be.

4. Good sex is a great way to cut down on entertainemnt expenses. Do you really need the dinner, movie, and the perfect outfit?

3. Good sex is a vacation everytime. Do you really need to spend thousands seeing Mickey Mouse in his little red button shorts? Or would you rather see your mate without any pants on at all?

2. Great sex saves you hundreds on utility bills. You create your own heat in the winter and ice cubes are now much more exciting in the summer.

1. Great sex puts you in a different frame of mind. Your co-workers wonder if you have successfully gained a new promotion or if you know something that they dont know. It will drive them nuts, putting you in a position to out perform them. They will spend their time worrying, why you have the confidence to get the job done.

entry Mar 7 2007, 01:45 PM
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument

1. That won't scale.
2. That's been proven to be O(N^2) and we need a solution that's O(NlogN).
3. There are, of course, various export limitations on that technology.
4. The syntax is idiosyncratic.
5. Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing nightmare.
6. That can't be generalized to a cross-platform build.
7. Unfortunately, the license would contaminate our product.
8. If we go with that idea, we're going to have Don Marti camped out in the front lobby with 300 angry software jihad supporters.
9. Our support infrastructure simply can't handle the volume that change would involve.
10. I had one of the interns try that approach for another project, and it scrambled the CEO's hard drive. So I think it's going to be a hard sell.
11. Yes, well, that's just not the way things work in the real world.
12. I like your idea. Why don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff meeting?
13. Unfortunately, we're an all-FORTH shop. Otherwise, it's a nice idea.
14. I think you need to stop taking this so personally. We need to think about what's best for the project, not about our own little pet theories.
15. Oh, I played with that approach back as an undergrad. Got a D, too.
16. I was reading about that on BugTraq yesterday.
17. Yes, I believe that's the approach Windows NT is taking.
18. That's totally inefficient on modern hardware.
19. Well, yes, but it really reduces to the knapsack problem in that case. Do you have some kind of heuristic, or are we dealing with an NP-complete case?
20. Have you LOOKED at the number of I/O requests that will create?
21. We can't afford the transaction overhead.
22. Yeah, or we could all just plink away on Amigas or something.
23. What? I don't speak your crazy moon-language.
24. Hmm. Didn't they just go bankrupt? It's OK, I guess -- there's some German company who's picked up the existing service contracts.
25. No, no, no. We're really working on an N-TIER architecture, here.
26. No, no, no. It's fairly important that the database be in THIRD NORMAL FORM.
27. No, that would break object encapsulation.
28. I don't think that's altogether clear. Please write it up in UML for me.
29. I think there's a problem with your drive geometry.
30. Can you generate some USE CASES that would justify the change?
31. How is that going to impact the schedule?
32. RAM is cheap and all, but...
33. It would probably be best if we deferred that until version 2.0.
34. I like it, but it is too point-oh for my tastes.
35. If you make this change, I will fork the code.
36. Yes, well, unfortunately the economy is going away from anything remotely like that. Our investors would kill us.
37. Jakob Nielsen wrote an interesting hit piece on that.
38. Yes, yes, we've all read DJB's RFCs on the subject.
39. This is all covered in Knuth, and we don't have time to go over it again.
40. This one is in the FAQ: http://www.linuxmafia.com/~rick/faq/#your_dumb_technology
41. I don't have time for this extropian nonsense.
42. Well, I guess we could start the QA cycles again from square one. That would require a press release, though.
43. You used to program in Pascal, didn't you?
44. Why don't we make a generalized solution including both options, and let the administrator decide with a config-file setting?
45. You've obviously ignored the various namespace issues.
46. I don't think you're considering the performance trade-offs.
47. What kind of benchmarks have you been running?
48. Let's table this for now, and we'll talk about it one-on-one off-line.
49. This really doesn't jibe with our core competency.
50. This sort of thing should really be outsourced.
51. I remember that IBM had a project to do that back in the 70s.
52. Um, hello? We're using VON NEUMANN MACHINES HERE.
53. We need this to fit on a single floppy.
54. Yes, but can this be embedded in a toaster, for example?
55. We need something that my mom can use.
56. Users won't want to click through that many layers of hierarchy.
57. The packaging costs will be prohibitive.
58. OK, but what about internationalization?
59. Look, would you just get off your Be obsession for FIVE MINUTES and talk serious design with us?
60. That's a good idea -- you should do that on your home page.
61. Yeah, Linuxcare tried that with the Sourceror project.
62. Ho, man! Are they still AROUND? That's so cool. I thought that whole idea was discredited years ago.
63. What you're not seeing is the difference between an 'is-a' and a 'has-a' relationship.
64. There is no hope for the widow's son, Boaz.
65. Yes, but we're standardizing on XML.
66. That doesn't fit into the MVC model.
67. Well, that's great if you have an AI running the thing.
68. Well, they're going to do that with the next version of Perl, so we should probably wait.
69. Well, they're going to do that with the next version of OS X, so we should probably wait.
70. I heard that the only real application for that technology was child pornography. How did you hear about it?

Source: http://www.pigdog.org/auto/mr_bads_list/sh...olumn/1914.html

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